I always hated going on interviews, because inevitably someone would ask, “tell me about yourself.”
The first few times this happened I really didn’t know what to say. Then I figured out they just wanted my demographics in as broad a brush as possible. They weren’t actually trying learn anything about me.
But that discovery was just a band-aid for the real problem: I’d hated and ignored myself for so long that I didn’t know who I was anymore.
And I suspect if you’re here, that you may have the same thing going on.
So let’s work on that today.
If you made the list, you now know a few things you like about yourself.
But the question of who you are is a really big one, probably too big to answer right now. Because if you’re anything like me, you really don’t know much about you yet.
So let’s ask an easier question: what do you prefer? What do you truly like about the world around you, so much so that you would want it around every day?
As with our last question, I’m going to put some caveats in there.
First, it can’t be a person.
Second, you can’t just say “everything” or “food” or “air.” Those are lazy answers to avoid knowing yourself. That’s not why we’re here. The purpose is to get to the real truth.
And real truth is … real. No generalities. Each item has to be a specific something that you can see or touch. So instead of “food,” it should sound something like “that baby spinach you get in the plastic boxes” or “Häagen-Dazs coffee ice cream.”
(that last one is my particular preference)
If your lazy answer is “water,” do you like tap water, Dasani, Pur-filtered, or something else? Get specific.
The more specific, the better.
Third, it has to be what you actually like, not what you think you should like, or that you have in the house but you really hate, or that anyone has told you that you’re supposed to like.
Make a list of at least twenty things. The more, the better. If it takes you a while to get to twenty, that’s okay.
It’s a challenge. Keep going.
You don’t need to show it to anyone. This your list, not theirs.
I keep my lists on my phone, but you can put them anywhere safe where you can remember them. You can add to this list any time you want.
Your preference list may change over time, as you find you like something else better. That’s okay.
Now you might be thinking, “what does this have to do with anything?”
It’s a valid question, with a simple answer: What you prefer is a part of who you are.
For example, the person who loves wearing pastel floral dresses and cowboy boots is a very different person that the one who loves wearing black t-shirts and sweat pants. Both are just fine.
When you have the things that you really like around you, that leads to you being happier. But you can’t know what those things are if you’ve never taken the time to think about what they are.